August 27, 2008 - Food Combining, Sweaty Gym Socks and a Lack of Nicotine
Current mood:
focusedSo yesterday it began. I guess we could call it my "transformation". I signed up for the "Biggest Loser" that some people at work have started. The group originally started out as a group of men, 2 weeks later the ladies decided to join. 2 Weeks! Do you know that this means the men have a 2 week head start!?!?! We ALL know that it's easier for men to drop weight than it is for women. So I guess I am donating my money, but perhaps this wioll help keep me on track.
I've decided to go back to the tried and true way of eating for me which is Suzanne Somers' plan Somersize (sounds so cheesy I know). It's easy and I don't feel like I am giving up much. It's food combining so there really are no limitations (with the exception of foods that we should not be eating anyway such as white rice, white bread, pasta, sugar, etc...) it teaches you to eat whole foods and whole grains. If you want to know more about it, I suggest checking out one of ther books at the library. She's got several and they all have great recipes in the back.
In addition, I have started going back to a gym...for the meantime I am going with a friend to her apartment complex's gym....it's a very nice facility and we learned yesterday that they offer group fitness classes 3 days a week. Woohoo! I'm all about the group fitness! So I'll be doing that until the gym I have joined opens. It's a brand new Body Plex that is located between work and home so it's nice and convenient, only prob is it doesn't open til November. I absolutley LOVED the Body Plex in Woodstock and was sad to have to quit when I moved to Cumming several years back. They have the absolute BEST group fitness classes and I am always guaranteed a great workout.
So....how healthy would I be if I was still smoking? Because I started everything yesterday, I decided it would also be a good day to quit smoking. I didn't quite make the whole day without a cigarette, I had one in the late afternoon after dealing with some expensive insurance claim that has been denied even though Cigna had originally told me I'd be covered 90%....that's a whole other story that I am not going to get into and get mad about all over again. So yes I had a cig, but I only had 1 as oppossed to what I would normally smoke in a day.
I'm ready to fit into my clothes again...as well I'd love to be able to buy some new ones without having to go up a size... UGH It would be nice to go in and have to buy several sizes smaller!
WORKIN ON IT!
Sept 16, 2008 As it stands right now
Current mood:
jubilant
jubilant....your reading the blog of the biggest loser. Yes...I've lost 13lbs. and I am the one closest to winning the $210 cash prize my friends....all I really want is the weight off and my money back....but I'll take being the biggest loser and winning the Top Prize!
I'm still sticking to my somersizing and working out when I can which is not as often as I'd like. Like take for instance today...I forgot my gym clothes. So perhaps this evening before I attempt to cook a meal, I'll tune the TV to the FIT channel and get in a workout. Good idea. I just hope I can muster up the will power....I haven't been a workout at home person since I used to work out with Jess to Tony Little Tapes back in the 90's. "SQUEEZE" "You Can Do It!"
And if you're wondering about how the no smoking thing is going...that's all up in smoke. le sigh
Have a lovely Tuesday (or whatever day you're reading this)
September 22, 2008 - 2 Down, One to Go!
Current mood:
determinedSeveral months ago while shopping with Amir I was hunting down a new black belt. The one I had was ratty and ready to be retired. While searching through the belts on the rack I selected and tried several marked XL that were too tight. In order to lighten my own mood about the reality of my expanding wasit band I said outloud to no one in particular but within ear shot of Amir "So what size comes after XL? FH? Fucking Huge? I did find a belt that night and no it was not in the Men's Big & Tall section. I purchased it and I love it. (I don't remember what size it was...and there is no tag on it now).
Fast forward a few months with a few days short of 1 total month that I have changed my eating and exercise habits.
While getting dressed this morning and finishing off my look with the belt, while I pulled the belt through the buckle I noticed that there was way more excess belt than usual. I am down 2 belt notches since the time that I bought it. There is only one notch left before this belt is too large for me!
It's just a short while before I'll need to go belt shopping again.
I can hear Noella clapping now.
September 23, 2008 - Just Look Into My Eyes and Tell Me What You See
Current mood:
cooky/wackyI just noticed....they're two different colors.
My left eye is more green and my right eye is more blue. I'm a weirdo.
Can you see it? Well, maybe they look kinda grey in this picture, but today they are green and blue.
Does it feel like I am watching you through a little rectangle in the screen?
October 3, 2008 - Rapid Heart Beat
Current mood:
stressed
stressed*WARNING* What you are about to read is not the typical blog you'd expect from me. No, this blog is not fun or inspirational or motivational, in fact it just might stress you out to read it just as much as it stressed me out to write it....but it helps to vent I guess....Please proceed with caution.
It's no wonder that when I went to the Dr. today my heart beat was faster than normal. Yesterday I had a little bit of anxiety and today I feel like I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.
There are many people in my life whom I love that are going through a multitude of difficult times right now at this very moment and I feel so helpless. From serious infection, to heartbreak, to a major car accident, to last second living situation changes, to the loss of a loved one, to loss of employment, to even happy times such as birthdays and the birth of my friends' children and parties & get togethers and new sports. YES all of this at this very moment! I am trying to be there for all and feel like I just can't give all of me for each of them including my time, my ear, my money, my love my deepest sympathies. I want to be able to be there for each and every one and I just can not.
Aside from my house and yard being a mess right now, I truly have nothing to complain about....oh...not true...there is that being behind schedule on my project at work thing...but there's always the evenings and weekends to use to catch up. (In case you're wondering why I am blogging instead of working, well I am waiting on something....the being behind schedule thing has nothing to do with me and what I do...unfortunatlely...I just get the short end of the stick cause regardless of how late development is, I still have to meet the promised delivery date)
I guess I am feeling overwhelmed with the situations of those around me....and I really can't help it. I don't remember ever feeling this way. Maybe the ADD meds are helping me to see what's going on around me. Maybe life has always been this way but I've just been too damn scatter brained to handle it all so I handled none of it. You know, I lived in Christa's World where the sun always shines and the birds always chirp and the butterflies are always there to chase.
I noticed just this past week how much more organized I am now as compared to before. Well at least at work. I can look back at previous projects and say "Wow, what the heck was I doing, this is all out of order and incomplete" weird. Though I'm no where near being the super genius I hope to be, I am noticing subtle differences. In fact I think the weightloss and ability to stay on track can be attributed to the new brain power the Straterra is giving me. I am still having some brain farts though. I scheduled in mycalendar a party for Friday when it was really on Thursday and I scheduled a Dr.'s appointment on Thursday when it was really on Friday. What's weird is that my mind knows when these events are but my hand is writing it in the wrong place. But I am second guessing my mind and not my hand (what's written down).
I hope things get better for everyone. And I hope that every now and then my brain will let me live in Christa's world for a few moments a day. I don't want to lose all of that...it's such an easy breezy way to be and really makes me who I am and who you all know and love. I don't want to be Ms. Serious all of the time.
Sigh
October 29, 2008 - Is that a wad of $20s in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Current mood:
breezy
breezySo being that the temp is 44 degrees I was kinda (really) forced into wearing my red jacket. I did not wear it in the car during my commute, but put it on once I got out of the car upon my arrival at work. While putting the jacket on I feel something in the pocket, hoping it is a wad of $20 bills, I stick my hand in the pocket.
What do I find?
Frikkin' Tessa...she borrowed my jacket and leaves me with this Koozie. Not the Wad of $20s I was hoping to find.
This thing just won't go away. I tried to give this one and another back to her once already but she keeps leaving it with me.
I see she is just trying to force this General Beuregard's Koozie on me. So I am using it to keep my hands warm while I drink my Diet Mountain Dew at work.
And yes, that is the Christa Action Figure sitting on a Robin's Egg blue Vespa in the background. That's the Blonde Edition circa 2005 cause I used to look like this...
November 4, 2008 - waiting for the world to change...
Current mood:
amorous.....or at least for when Amir steps out of the baggage claim area and onto the GA soil after arriving at ATL. So until then I've decided to write.
I have never been very graceful....in fact I've always said "Grace is not my middle name" and that I would have to name my daughter Grace because it is the only grace I will ever have.
So with that comes lots of moments that most people would consider to be embarrassing moments...but not for me, I guess I'm just so used to it that it's really hard to get embarrassed anymore. (I think other people have embarrassed me more than I have embarrassed my own self). (sorry if I've ever embarrassed you...wait no I'm not)
The ONE time (besides those dreams where I was in the 7th grade and sitting not in my chair but on the back of it in my underwear and undershirt...you remember the kind that had those little rose buds all over it?) anyway the one time I can ever think I was truly embarrassed was way back...back into time...1984 to be exact.
I was walking down the hall of Roosevelt School after using the little girls room. I'm looking all cute, as cute as a fourth grader in 1984 can, trying to be Madonna. I'm wearing a skirt and tights...you remember the stripes from the early Eighties...well if you don't then perhaps you remember a few seasons ago they were back in...so anyway, I'm feeling all sassy and I hear a mature man's voice call out "Young lady" now I know that I am the only one in the hall so I turn around and see the one male teacher in the school that I sorta have a crush on...ok maybe a big crush, but not big enough that I can remember his name right now. So he proceeds to tell me that my skirt is tucked into my tights. I look down behind me and sure enough, I am there strutting through the halls with my butt hanging out for all to see.....I think I was more embarrassed because HE caught it....though I am quite thankful that he was the only one and not the ENTIRE Ms. Clark's 4th grade class! I probably never thanked him. I probably turned beet red and picked the skirt out of the tights and ran up the stairways and into my class.
And I can't for the life of me right now figure out what triggered that memory, but I thought I would share. I like thinking back to childhood milestones...this milestone being the first time I was embarrassed. OK maybe the only time I was....
As for me having a crush on an older Dude....ask my parents, I've always had crushes on older men. In fact I think my parents' friend Joe Fiore was my first older man crush. I was probably about 2 years old.
So....do you remember the first time you were ever embarrassed?
**Note - Just for a little timeline reference, I left Amir on November 11, 2008 when I had had enough and realized that he was not the man for me.
December 26, 2008 - standing on middle ground
Current mood:
grateful….hmmmm…wow, I just realized I haven't written in almost 2 months. Yes, a lot has been going on and I guess I just didn't feel like writing my emotions and sharing with the world just yet.
Break ups are hard. Damn fucking hard, regardless of the situation. I've tried to remain strong and positive but I just can't help to feel a lil lost….and of course quite a bit emotional.
Through this time I've seen that I have been so blessed with so many wonderful people. Family, friends, even acquaintances, they all have had a positive position in my life and help me through big and small stuff each and every day. I am so appreciative of all of these people in my life, I don't even want to think of how I'd be feeling if I had none of them.
Right now I am living in a little bit of a blur. I am not "happy" yet I am not "sad". There is a middle ground that I am standing on that I can't quite say I am comfortable being here. Even when I am down, I usually try to find the happy and while I am not Miss Mopey right now, I am having a tough time identifying the happy. Don't get me wrong, I'm still smiling, and the smiles are genuine.
I need to gather up the energy to focus on me. The things that make me happiest, healthiest, craziest! What do I like? What do I love? What are these things…and why have I been putting them off. How can I be a better person for my family, my friends and most importantly Myself.
And focusing on myself undoubtedly will help me
1) get out of this pseudo-rut
2) learn more about myself
3) become a better person for my family & friends.
4) be a healthier person
I truly find great pleasure in making those around me happy. It's not something I try hard at…..it's something that comes naturally to me and I find it very rewarding. I like to be the sunshine on the cloudy day. I love that I can be that for someone, if only one person in the world, but I want to be that for everyone including myself.
So the purpose of this blog was to get some feelings out….get myself in check…..realize what I need to do. Did I accomplish this? Not sure yet, but I hope so. There is a new year to look forward to. Who the heck knows what 2009 will bring? I am confident that I will successfully create a better Christa for the Big Bad World and most importantly for my own little world and the wonderful people in it.
Big thanks, love, hugs and kisses to all of you who've dealt with the middle ground Christa. Thank you for being a special part of my life. I'm going to make our lives better in the near future!
1 year agoKrissy Christa, I just read this and I can totally relate. I want you to know that you are an amazing woman and I count myself lucky to count you as one of my best girl friends. There is something I have learned about the middle ground - not sure it will mean anything but wanted to share it with you - being in the middle means your not at the bottom, and it gives you the opportunity to look at things with an impartial eye. You can see the bottom and you can reach for the top.
Just keep being yourself - this path has been chosen for you and I am so glad we can walk through part of it together! Love you girl! Krissy
3 years agoLife Is Good Anything you touch is Golden you truly are a special person i every way . your an angel .you embrace things in a way that make everything bad seem like it was meant to be for a reason then take that dark cloud and create a rainbow to slide down on , and take on te world . i am so proud to be your friend... I Love Ya my 3rd Sis
January 2, 2009 - two double zero nine
Current mood:
hopefulSo...it's 2009. I almost slept right through New Year's Eve. I remember hearing "5...4...3..." and thought to myself "You're gonna miss it" So I opened my eyes during the last 2 seconds and yelled out "Happy New Year!" Had a miniscule sip of Champagne (cause that's what you're supposed to do even if you don't like the stuff) hung out for a bit and then back to sleep. It was definitely a lazy Wednesday/Thursday, my family saw more of my eyelids than they did see my eyes. I guess I needed to catch up on my sleep. it was still good to hang with them.
Bad girl, I forgot to make New Year's resolutions. My bad. Whaddayagonnado?
2009 holds SO many surprises. I think this is the year that I grow up. I mean...mature....or whatever. I think I'm really over the party scene...ok to a certain degree. I mean I'd like to partake in alcoholic beverages less frequently and get more rest, lots more (these late nights have brought a lot of luggage und dark circles under my eyes) I still want to hang out but I'd like to see more live music and dance more. I'd also like to workout more, pamper myelf more, get to work earlier and have more of a day. I'd like to appreciate my family and friends more and visit with them often. Maybe take a few trips to visit friends/family that live in other states and parts of the world....Texas...Florida....Cyprus...yeah, I have a friend in Cyprus and I've never gone out there to see her.....Island in the middle of the Mediterranean? Why not? Oh and then the friends in Italy, why haven't I gone out there yet? Ok, so maybe I can't do Italy and Cyprus in the same year.....but at least one of them!
I will be traveling to Norway again on business for 2 weeks as of next Friday. I am pretty excited about that and hoping I get the chance to do some cross country skiing again. There is nothing more peaceful....nothing, than to be surrounded by white capped trees in a beautiful blanket of white....with the sound of absolutly nothing being the loudest thing I've ever/never heard. If you've never heard nothing, you have no idea what I mean. Truly unbelievable. Ohhh maybe I'll see an Aurora Borealis while I'm there! That would be so damn sweet!
By the time I get back from Norway, January will be mostly over....wow....it's only day 2 of the new year and this year is already slipping away! Before you know it, it will be May! And then August...damn here comes October...oh...and the holidays!
Well, I am off to find happiness in the ordinary things I take for granted. Like say for instance today, I found $3 in my wallet....it was hidden. It's not much, but more than I thought I had. :) That made me happy.
Love to all!
**NOTE - The following entry is from after I started this blog, but it was on MySpace...it belongs here now.
September 29, 2009 - Checking In With The Rest of the World
Current mood:
adventurousYIKES! I guess I haven't had much to say all year being that I haven't posted a blog since January.....either that or I've had so much going on this year that I never found the time to put it all out there, and let's face it...I've been neglecting Myspace since having opened an account on Face Book. But it's funny to read back on that early January entry and realize that some of what I mentioned has come to fruition....see if you say you want something and put it out there, things tend to happen!...at least in my experience over the past 9 months it seems.
I am currently sitting down in front of my work laptop in Shanghai China. CHINA! And not only is it cool that I get to experience another Continent/Country/Culture, but that I will be here during the 60th Anniversary of their annual mid-autumn Moon Festival which is a national holiday that they celebrate all over China, but this year it's a biggie. How Big? They're expecting the crowds to be as big as when the Olympics were held in Beijing! YIKES! I am not one for crowds however I am NOT going to let the experience pass me by...No Way! The festival being held closest to my hotel kicks off tonight with a fireworks display and who knows what else.
So since my arrival to Shanghai on Sept. 12th, I have been out of touch with the world that I know....not entirely out of touch, but I had been using Face Book to keep in touch with my family and friends on the reg until my first attempt at accessing FB from my hotel room upon my arrival. I tried again...and then again...and NOTHING. I did a google search and it turns out that the reason I am unsuccessful in accessing FB (and youtube for that matter) is due to Chinese Gov't Censorship.
In addition, I do not have communication access in the way of a cell phone. I am traveling with other people from my company who have company issued cell phones. My position does not require me to be on call 24/7, and therefore I do not have a company phone. If I need to be reached I have e-mail and if I need to make a call, I have co-workers whose phones I can use. I could add international to my personal Blackberry, but a call from China is $1.99/minute and I'd be too tempted to use it much more than needed in turn spending a pretty penny on the cell phone bill.
So you see, while I am reachable, I really am out of touch to a certain degree, and in today's technologically advanced world, when do we ever really get the chance to legitimately be out of touch?
Now on to the "Checking In" part. I've received lots of e-mails and IMs from my peeps and the #1 question is "How's China?"
First off, I am here for work. Which means, I have been mostly working and hardly playing, though I have gotten the chance to do a little exploring/touring. I was hoping to do several things while here (aside from the work part, i.e. making the customer happy, which makes my employer happy, which helps me keep my job during this crazy economical crisis).
I am currently sitting down in front of my work laptop in Shanghai China. CHINA! And not only is it cool that I get to experience another Continent/Country/Culture, but that I will be here during the 60th Anniversary of their annual mid-autumn Moon Festival which is a national holiday that they celebrate all over China, but this year it's a biggie. How Big? They're expecting the crowds to be as big as when the Olympics were held in Beijing! YIKES! I am not one for crowds however I am NOT going to let the experience pass me by...No Way! The festival being held closest to my hotel kicks off tonight with a fireworks display and who knows what else.
So since my arrival to Shanghai on Sept. 12th, I have been out of touch with the world that I know....not entirely out of touch, but I had been using Face Book to keep in touch with my family and friends on the reg until my first attempt at accessing FB from my hotel room upon my arrival. I tried again...and then again...and NOTHING. I did a google search and it turns out that the reason I am unsuccessful in accessing FB (and youtube for that matter) is due to Chinese Gov't Censorship.
In addition, I do not have communication access in the way of a cell phone. I am traveling with other people from my company who have company issued cell phones. My position does not require me to be on call 24/7, and therefore I do not have a company phone. If I need to be reached I have e-mail and if I need to make a call, I have co-workers whose phones I can use. I could add international to my personal Blackberry, but a call from China is $1.99/minute and I'd be too tempted to use it much more than needed in turn spending a pretty penny on the cell phone bill.
So you see, while I am reachable, I really am out of touch to a certain degree, and in today's technologically advanced world, when do we ever really get the chance to legitimately be out of touch?
Now on to the "Checking In" part. I've received lots of e-mails and IMs from my peeps and the #1 question is "How's China?"
First off, I am here for work. Which means, I have been mostly working and hardly playing, though I have gotten the chance to do a little exploring/touring. I was hoping to do several things while here (aside from the work part, i.e. making the customer happy, which makes my employer happy, which helps me keep my job during this crazy economical crisis).
I got to see some Ancient China - The first weekend I was here I went on an organized tour with one of my co-workers. It was an all day affair (15 hrs in total) and totally worth it. I got to see an ancient Chinese garden that dates back to the Ming Dynasty (1593 to be exact), an ancient gate and bridge that was built in 500BC, a silk spinning factory, and an ancient water town (boat ride included).
That's all for now. I've got work to do, but wanted to check in and give a lil taste of what has been going on with me while working in and exploring around China. I've taken tons of pictures and will be posting them on FB when I return. Stay tuned within the next few weeks (on FB) if you want to catch a glimpse of what I've been experiencing.
Oh...and before I forget....ever have that moment where you realize that you never knew you were missing something in your life until that something enters your life? AH-MAZING!
and life is still good...and only getting better
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3 years ago