Too Much - Stream of Consciousness

I work too much.  Seriously.  I never mentioned that I test software 40 hours per week, I also work at a Special Occasions dress shop about 20-25 hours a week, and in my spare "time off", I sew for cash.  This leaves about enough time to sleep, but definitely not enough time to keep our place clean & tidy, food shopping, relaxation, regular self-maintenance and quality alone time with BF.  I have been using my lunch hours to squeeze in the chiropractor, or doctor or dentist or errand running...I also work through my lunch hour most of the time so that I can dilly-dally a bit or to catch a few extra Z's in the morning before having to start my work all day into the night routine.....

I honestly think it is really starting to affect me.  Sometimes I feel like I've bitten off more than I can chew, but when I am doing it, it feels good and I am happy to be doing it.
One of my "Sew for Cash" clients recently asked me "Why do you work so much" and without hesitation I said "Because all of these opportunities keep presenting themselves to me, and with the way things are in the world right now, I feel obligated to accept the work"  I truly do enjoy each and everyone of my jobs, but I feel like they are getting in the way of life.  I can't just go to work whenever I feel like it, I am scheduled to be there and I always feel guilty to take time off...even when I really am sick.

I need more Christa Time aka Leisure Time.  We were meant to work hard but also have at least 1 day per week to rest, right?  At this point I get 1 day off per month.....I truly am Crazy aren't I?

And no, I haven't been saving.  Well, I do have more cash in the bank than when I was just working 1 job, but I still feel like being that I work all the time, I really don't have the time to spend it.  But somehow I do spend it...well some of it.

I need to get things in better order.  Something has to give.  I think it may wind up that I work the dress shop during the busy seasons (Homecoming Season and Prom Season)  about 6 months out of the year....it's hard to comprehend giving up something I enjoy doing....but it is becoming too much.

On 3 occasions, I've found myself having mini (and I mean TINY) meltdowns ,of course with no one else around .  That's not good for the soul.  I don't feel stressed, but I certainly do feel a bit overwhelmed.

I need to do right by me.  I deserve more time to work on me instead of working on something else for someone else.  I mean, I REALLY need to get into the gym...at least 3 times a week....but WHEN?  I have tried so hard to be a morning person and get up and start my day with a workout and yes I love those days when I can push myself but another part of me hates me for doing it...HAH!

I need to regroup.